Good Grief…

Good Grief…

Definition: deep sorrow, esp. that caused by someone’s death


Is grief good? I have not figured out the answer to that million dollar question… as of yet. It’s been approximately 1 1/2 months since the passing of my Papa. The grief is STILL palpable and seems as though it will never end or at least lesson.

Everyone grieves in their own way. Some outwardly weep daily, some feel anger, while others become introverted with their feelings of loss and may not express grief in public or with others. No one way is the correct way to express grief. No one person has the exclusivity on grief. All ways of grieving need to be recognized.

The question of the day; will the grief really ever end. Or will a band-aide just cover up the deep wound? I’m not sure at this point. I have been told by others who have experienced a loss of a loved one “it will get better, missing them will always be there.” To me, that does not sound like much of a trade-off!

Yesterday the marker (headstone) was placed on my dear papa’s grave. Knowing it was being placed made it all too real and final…as if the funeral did not do THAT! Next weekend I will go visit Papa for the first time. Hoping to find some peaceful closure.

So is grief good? Intellectually, I understand the body must release all the intense emotion in some form. My heart however, tells me something very different. Is the saying “time heals all wounds” true? Not sure…

The loss of a loved one is truly heartbreaking, Anyone have any words of wisdom? Anyone?

7 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Polly on August 30, 2013 at 2:55 PM

    😉 mom


  2. Kellie, I wish I did have some words that would comfort and encourage. I think I’ve recently become a form of “information gatherer” on the very questions you’ve introduced. As my parents are getting older and have some health issues I sometimes wonder about the future and “how I’ll do” which may translate more into “how will it ever be okay again.” So many of my friend are right where you are at this moment, and I can see how hard it is. But I can also say that for those who have been grieving for a year or two, the fog and the weight of the grief, is lifting. They have a little light returning to their eyes. Bless you, dear one. This is a terrible loss. I agree with you there is no timetable and no blueprint for how one makes it through. I just simply want to say I’m very sorry for you personal loss. You had a wonderful relationship with your Papa, and of course, losing him is a tremendous upset. Hugs. Debra


  3. Posted by Deb on September 2, 2013 at 5:06 PM

    Kellie I wished I knew of the magic that would make grief easy. My grandmother has been gone almost 20 yrs. I still miss her, but I really feel she is my guardian watching over me (boy does she work overtime, sometimes). There are days I smell her since she was a smoker it is a scent I won’t forget. My life goes on but there are moments I would love to share with her, instead a tear will fall. but then I smile because I treasured the times we did share. The hurt, emptiness, laughs, the cries are now on my own. The love is there and always will be. One day at a time. Love you Lady!


  4. Kellie … my heart goes out to you. Grief is natural … and yes, theoretically it never goes away because that person is always with us. But you said it best – everyone deals with it differently, thus what is true or good for one may not be so for others. But I will share my story … it may help, it may not, but it starts here.


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