Archive for the ‘dealing with grief’ Category

Room for Two In Heaven


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On January 16th we lost our mother a short 18 months after my father. We were not expecting her to pass…as a family we were caught off guard. My mother did an admirable job of trying to continue on with her life after my dad died. Although, her heart ached for him everyday. On Monday we will say our final goodbye to our mom. Dad awaits her in heaven with loving arms. Room for two in heaven.

Black & Whites….


Black and White….

I love old black and white photos. Nothing better! The hallway in my house is lined with old black and white family photos going back to the 1800’s. These old photos tell a far better story (in my opinion) then colored photos of today. When I look at these black and white photos, I’m transported back in time. These photos are some of my favorite of my parents. I really don’t have to write much about these photos. I think they tell the story of simple times, joy and love. Enjoy!ImageImageImageImageImageImageImage

Change…Good or Bad?


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Change…Good or Bad?

Noun-the act or instance of making or becoming different. 

February will be 7 months since my Dad’s passing. So much has changed for our family. My Mom’s life has of course the most dramatic change. Watching my Mom go through all the changes to her life, made me seriously ask the question “Is change good or bad”?

Due to my Dad’s passing and all the sudden changes that come with the loss of a long time spouse of 58 years; Mom has experienced so many “firsts”. First time sleeping alone in a house. First time eating alone in a restaurant. First time attending a social event alone. First time experiencing the holidays alone. First time cooking for “one” person.

Watching my Mom navigate through all of these “firsts” has been like watching a new puppy learning to walk. So proud! In reality, they really are NOT “firsts” for my Mom.  Of course, over my Mom’s 84 years she has experienced all of the above mentioned “firsts” as young woman maturing. However, after such a long marriage; they surely do feel like true “firsts. Mom has handled all of this with grace and dignity. While Mom has good days and bad days…change seems to be making her and even stronger person. Not everyone can accept, handle or adapt to change. Some just manage…Mom is blossoming into an even stronger human being. Wonderful to watch!

 

 

 

Good Grief…


Good Grief…

Definition: deep sorrow, esp. that caused by someone’s death

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Is grief good? I have not figured out the answer to that million dollar question… as of yet. It’s been approximately 1 1/2 months since the passing of my Papa. The grief is STILL palpable and seems as though it will never end or at least lesson.

Everyone grieves in their own way. Some outwardly weep daily, some feel anger, while others become introverted with their feelings of loss and may not express grief in public or with others. No one way is the correct way to express grief. No one person has the exclusivity on grief. All ways of grieving need to be recognized.

The question of the day; will the grief really ever end. Or will a band-aide just cover up the deep wound? I’m not sure at this point. I have been told by others who have experienced a loss of a loved one “it will get better, missing them will always be there.” To me, that does not sound like much of a trade-off!

Yesterday the marker (headstone) was placed on my dear papa’s grave. Knowing it was being placed made it all too real and final…as if the funeral did not do THAT! Next weekend I will go visit Papa for the first time. Hoping to find some peaceful closure.

So is grief good? Intellectually, I understand the body must release all the intense emotion in some form. My heart however, tells me something very different. Is the saying “time heals all wounds” true? Not sure…

The loss of a loved one is truly heartbreaking, Anyone have any words of wisdom? Anyone?

Heaven Has A Hell Of A Guy!


Heaven Has A Hell Of A Guy!

July 5th I lost my beloved father to stage 4 Bladder Cancer. He was such a tenacious fighter. This December would have been 4 years of battling this horrific cancer. He did it with such grace and dignity. He passed at home with family all around him surrounded by things that made him happy. While preparing for his upcoming services, I had the task of calling his long time business associates, friends and family. At first I dreaded this daunting task.

By the end of the 100th call, I found that I was in such a better place. The conversations I had with his business associates were so amazing. I heard over and over that they never met a kinder, upstanding, loyal, smart and classy man. I must have heard the phrase ” he was a hell of a guy” 50 times or more. I found myself laughing about stories they were telling me on the phone. People were actually honored and looking forward to being part of his send off to Heaven.

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Even though it is a great and tragic loss for our family, friends and his business associates, Heaven has received a hell of guy!  Will see you in heaven. Save me a seat next to you and we can have a vodka on the rocks and  listen to Louie Armstrong’s record, “”What a Wonderful World over and over and over like old times. Love you forever Papa.

Kellie's 50th Birthday 005

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